I was hanging out with a friend recently and she asked me about another mutual friend. “We’re going to an art opening together,” she said. “But I don’t know if it’s a date or not.” This is a woman in her 50s who has been in the lesbian community for more than 30 years and here she was going on a date, that she wasn’t even sure WAS a date.

When a man asks a woman out, it’s pretty obvious what’s going on. But when two women meet for coffee, when does it turn from a friendly hang-out to a date? Here's how to know if you're on a date or not.
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From the Lesbian Life Forum

My dear friend April and I have been going back and forth about a few things. We are best friends but still find ourselves wanting more. We then realize we don't see long term therefore a break up is almost guaranteed. We could potentially ruin our friendship.

April has been there for me through so much this past semester. She truly is my best friend. I'll never meet a girl like her. I spend more time with her than anyone else. We have classes together. We worked it out to graduate from Tech together and hopefully go to medical school together. We're renting a house together next fall with two other people. We've done just about everything together... anywhere from breaking the law together to just being together talking about nothing important but still meaning everything to us.

Even though every time we get close to dating we decide it's not a good idea because we love and respect our friendship too much. And then she'll say things like we are soul mates and one day will end up together even if that isn't right now.

So, do you date your best friend? Is it worth the risk of losing a friend?

I've been reading the past few weeks about a horrible hate crime in the Bay Area of California. In seemingly gay-friendly California, a lesbian was beaten and gang-raped by four men while they taunted her with anti-gay slurs. I've just been sickened by the story. This week four men were arrested and police are classifying it as a hate crime.

While much of the media focus has been on the battle over gay marriage, anti-gay hate crimes actually increased in 2008. Some states, like California, do have hate crimes laws, but there is still no federal hate crime law. Even if you live in an area with no specific hate crimes protection, you can take action if you are a victim of an anti-gay bias crime. And let's pressure Congress and the new president to take action on ensuring the Matthew Shepard Hate Crime Act passes.
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Dear Lesbian Life:

I live with my mother and father. My father and I at one point were very close, now all we do is try not to look at one another. I did not get to come out to them. I was found with another student in high school by a teacher. Phone calls were made.

My mother asks a lot of questions about why I am gay. I do not know what to tell her. I am not sure. I know that a lot of people say that we are born or are made that way through life events, but I do not know. As far back as I can remember I liked girls but I do not know if it was because I was born that way or not. I was raised to be a very old fashion Christian in a military family. I find that every day I fight with myself trying to make sense of it all. I do believe in one God. I fight everyday. I feel so lost.

I have tried to date men but it’s never right. Inside I know who I am, but everyone keeps telling me that I cannot be me, that it’s a sin, and that I should burn in hell. I tried so hard to be what they want and I am not. I have been raised with even my father saying that I am evil. Am I? Is love not love? I know that you may not be able to help me but I am so lost. I am a shamed of myself for being me.

Did you feel this way? Am I the only one? What do I do? I want nothing more than my father’s love and to have the close bond we had once. Is it even possible?
Questioning Christian

Dear QC,

Wow, you raise a lot of questions here. Ones that I cannot answer for you. But one thing I can assure you is that you are not the only one going through this. Every person who is raised in a traditional Christian household has to come to terms with their sexual orientation at religion at some point.

The Bible is a very old text that has gone through many translations. Some believe that it clearly condemns homosexuality. Others read the same book and come to the conclusion that God views all love equally...keep reading...
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