What was the most memorable thing about the ride?

It is difficult to pinpoint the most memorable moment on the ride.  If we had to choose one, it would be the trip to Laramie because it was so moving.  Wyoming is a beautiful state so the contrast between that beauty and the horror of the event that occurred there was overwhelming. Even more, we realized while we were there that Matthew Shepherd’s murder is evidence of the danger of having governmental sanction of discrimination toward a despised minority.  We felt as though we were witnesses to this truth and that we need to talk about it.  There are hundreds (if not more) deaths and “disappearances” of gay men (and some lesbians) that are not making national news.  History proves that blatant discrimination inspires violence in weak souls who hate and fear minorities.  

Will you do it again? Will you invite others to join you?

Yes, we want to do the ride for the “last” time in the summer of 2006.  It would be great to have a group join with us.  If anyone is interested in doing so, we would be happy to speak to them.  

Do you think you made a difference? How?

We know we made a difference to the people we met along the way.  We were not able to move EVERYONE to embrace our struggle but we did convince many to do so.  Every person we spoke to agreed that they had never thought about the issue in the way that we defined it.  Most of those people said they would share with others what they learned from us and ask them to pass it on as well.  The most powerful thing we do is to introduce ourselves to everyone we meet – the grocery store check-out person, garage mechanic, the waitress at the diner, etc. -- as a lesbian couple with three kids and a (soon to be 2) grandchild. Then we talk about our everyday lives and how we must figure out how to protect each other when bad (and good) things happen.  And even when we get all our ducks in a row it is not enough to guarantee that our loved ones will not be hurt by the loss of rights, benefits and property – and all of this will happen at a time when they are already vulnerable from grief, worry and/or sickness.    Another important thing we do is to talk about marriage vs. sex.  Many people are against gay marriage because they are against gay sex.  We talk about their parents and their grandparent’s marriages and ask whether these arrangements are based upon sex or something else.  Of course we do not think about married people having sex.  When we attend a wedding or are introduced to someone’s spouse, we do not think about them having sex.  That is the problem with the phrase “gay marriage.”  Marriage is not gay and marriage is not straight.  Marriage is a concept – an arrangement – that allows a person to create a family with another person and to have the government and society respect and honor that arrangement.  

What’s next for you?

Now we are organizing a way for people who are outraged at having their lives and families scapegoated to take action and do something about it.  We hope to make a grassroots organization that will really make positive change for every-day LGBT families.  We want this movement to exist for the purpose of making change and not for the purpose of soliciting money to maintain big offices, salaries and the status quo.  

Thanks so much for extending us this chance to reach out to your readers and the community.  We will get through this thing together and our families will ultimately prevail. Learn more about the Rainbow Ride Across America.